The broken soul of the best bullfighter, according to ‘The Times’

Two weeks after making a surprise reappearance in Santander after having announced his retirement from the bullring due to deep depression, the bullfighter has broken his silence to give an open-hearted interview in The Times. At 44 years old, Morante de la Puebla He has been suffering from mental problems for decades, but this latest crisis has made him fear the worst: “I fight bulls, but it is my mind that paralyzes me with fear”he said. “I’m fighting an illness, a dissociative disorder that doesn’t let me live. So I have to fight against this and against the bull. I have to fight against everything.”

The Sevillian suffers from a depersonalization disorder and agoraphobia that causes muscle aches, headaches and strong attacks of uncontrolled crying, as well as confusion and disorientation: “This time it hit me harder than before”he said. “I try not to let the pressure get the better of me because I know that there are a lot of people who want me to fight but also to fight feeling good”he added.

This is not the first time that his condition has kept him away from his passion. In 2007 he announced that he was taking a break and he did so until 2008, when he reappeared in Mexico with the help of matador Rodolfo Rodríguez ‘El Pana’. Almost ten years later, in 2017, the demons attacked again. He returned in 2018 and until today: “Sometimes I can hide this pressure… I continue with the treatment but with a lot of anguish. The truth is that I suffer a lot”he concluded, saying that he is excited to be able to finish the season, something that is not in his hands if problems arise again.

Pills and electroshock

Morante de la Puebla was diagnosed in 2004, when he began drug treatment and even underwent electroshock sessions: “They put you completely to sleep and give them to you. The truth is that it has gone well. My memory fails me a little but the doctor says it is normal. They are happy, although the results will not be seen until some time has passed,” he explained then.

The bullfighter has the unconditional support of his wife, Elisabeth Garrido. They were married in 2009 in a civil ceremony in Alcalá de Guadaíra (Seville), at the Hacienda Los Ángeles. The bride was three months pregnant and six months later their first child together, María, was born. In 2013, Lola was born. Morante is the father of another son, José Antonio, from his first marriage with Cynthia Antúnez.

The family lives in Huerta de San Antonio, a property that they have equipped with sports facilities, such as a football field, as well as a spectacular farmhouse and a bullring. They also have a holiday home in Matalascañas, Huelva, which they bought from Vicky Martín Berrocal on the beachfront.