“I regret that King Juan Carlos has abdicated”

The gentleman with the elongated figure and his hat. It would be the first description that inspires me. Jose Miguel Fernandez Sastron when I see him arrive at the café where we met. We haven’t seen each other for a long time but there are things that don’t change. He has a fine appearance and that mischievous and intelligent look of someone who has seen a lot and told little. Now he does it in a fun novel that he has titled Less protocol and more potatoesa caricature of the aristocracy and how it operates in that world. It is morbid because he was the brother-in-law of King Felipe VI (for his wedding with Simoneta Gómez Acebo) and it awaits juicy and revealing headlines. The good thing about Sastrón is that he does not disappoint, but always with the good manners of someone who knows how to be anywhere. After all, that is good education. Knowing how to behave.

Is your purpose with this book to annoy or to entertain?

FS: I assure you that I won’t get you angry, and anyone who gets angry will do so because they don’t have a sense of humor. My thing is to entertain and to tell a story about a reality that people have only a vague idea of. With a sense of humor you can tell anything.

His is a fine sense of humour

FS: We live in a time where it seems that humor has to be scatological, but my thing is irony, joking, a bit of mockery and, above all, a caricature of a society.

He talks about the world of appearances and high society where he moves like a fish in water.

FS: To write about something it is important to have prior knowledge and know what you are talking about.

There are characters that sound very real

FS: Yes, and others are mixtures of several. I think the important thing is the situations and the dialogues. They are not strict, but they are plausible.

High society is more banal than most people think

FS: Yes. When big bankers meet for lunch they talk about food or wine and not about hostile takeover bids. Everything is simpler. They talk about what we all talk about. Men talk about women and vice versa, and I will tell you that when we reach a certain age, we talk about eating because it is the last pleasure that nature allows us.

There are also those who die with their boots on and do not stop being conquerors.

FS: Yes, but it dies soon.

Is high society dying out?

FS: I don’t think so. What’s more, what is dying out is the middle class because the rich are getting richer and they are in places where we don’t see them. What is dying out are the rich in Spain because they are leaving.

What does your ex-wife Simoneta think of this book?

FS: Well, I don’t know if you’ve read it. The truth is that we haven’t spoken for a while. We get along well, but when the children are older, there are no things to talk about. It’s normal.

Have you rebuilt your love life?

FS: I have been in a relationship for twelve years, but we have not gone to the altar because I was already married in the Church and, the truth is, we are both divorced and we have not gotten around to getting married.

In your novel you talk about the gossip press and you have also “suffered” from that.

FS: I know the press from years ago, but it’s true that now with the immediacy of the Internet everything has changed and each piece of information has to be updated immediately. This requires more content, unlike before when magazines lasted a week. Today people appear who I have no idea who they are because I get lost in so much vaudeville.

You were at the SGAE for almost ten years, and now?

FS: I am still a member but I am not in the executive part. I do some music but everything has changed and it is true that when I was in the SGAE I considered that I should not continue with my musical work because it did not seem right to me to be in both parts. That is why I left. You cannot be duplicating and besides, I did not have time for anything else other than dealing with the SGAE. I received a salary for that work and I was full-time. If I had dedicated myself to my own thing it would be like cheating someone.

In a country where corruption is the order of the day, it is nice to hear such decisions.

FS: I think corruption is everywhere in the world, but it is true that in Spain everything is more botched. Power corrupts because it allows you to do favours and then they are thanked for them and that gives rise to a private club that lives at our expense. They said that democracy is the least bad of the systems but it can also be improved and we should not allow people to live off our taxes. What they have to do is manage them and instead of that they seem like our bosses. I assure you that I do not see a solution and I do not know if the next generations will be able to fix it.

After her divorce from King Juan Carlos’ niece, she missed key chapters in the history of the Monarchy, such as the king’s abdication.

FS: I lived through a very peaceful period and after twenty years in that family I can only say good things about King Juan Carlos. Both on a personal level and for what he has meant for Spain. Regardless of what other people say, in the end the result of his work has been good. I sincerely regret that he abdicated, I think he should not have done it, although it is true that they are now doing it in other monarchies when they reach an age and choose to give up their belongings. But I think that as long as a king is healthy and mentally clear he can fulfil his role. In this case I do not believe he did it voluntarily.

Do you think it is right that Don Juan Carlos does not want to live in Spain because he does not pay the taxes required by the Treasury?

FS: I haven’t heard that from him. I think he would like to live in Spain because he is very Spanish and I’m sure he misses many things. Perhaps the most uncomfortable thing is living in a country where you are under the microscope every day.

What is your relationship with Felipe VI?

FS: We met when we were very young and I have very fond memories. I always found him charming, but it is true that because of my age I was between him and his father. When we met somewhere he was very affectionate. The truth is that I cannot say anything negative about the family because in those twenty years they have treated me very well.

Did you also have dealings with Marichalar and Urdangarín?

FS: Of course, because I separated at the end of summer 2009 and I saw everyone come in and even some of them being born.

But he didn’t see them leave.

FS: Well, I showed them the way by opening that door. I don’t remember if my divorce was before that of the Infanta Elena, but we’re on the same page. I don’t have contact with them. I’ve met Marichalar on occasion, but nothing more. In the end, the passage of time distances you and months and years go by and you realise that you haven’t spoken to so many people for a long time. Life goes by very fast.

What do you think of Queen Letizia?

FS: Beyond entering a family, her role was to play a leading role in a State institution and that is why Letizia is in a league of her own. She always treated me cordially. I found her friendly and friendly and I think she has done well. You have to put yourself in her shoes and when I hear the criticism I would like to see them in their place, knowing that whatever I do, there will always be those who have a bad opinion.

There is a legend that says that his ex-wife Simoneta and Letizia do not get along.

FS: Well, I assure you that when I was there I don’t remember any confrontation or negative comment from Simoneta. She always got on very well with Felipe and I haven’t experienced what they say.

Have any friends been upset by your novel?

FS: Not at all. I think there are many who would have liked to see themselves reflected in that.

With all due respect, your book reminds me of Alfonso Ussía’s books about the Marquis of Sotoancho.

FS: Any comparison on my part with Alfonso Ussía would be presumptuous because he has enormous literary quality. The difference is that the aristocracy that the Marquis of Sotoancho reflects is more of the old-fashioned, almost provincial kind, and which Ussía knows perfectly. The only thing we have in common is a fine sense of humour. In any case, if there is any similarity, it is because of what I have been able to learn from him.

What can’t be told?

FS: What you have learned through private circumstances and which is not good or necessary to tell.

He always speaks well of his mother-in-law, the Infanta Pilar

FS: I couldn’t say it any other way because they were twenty wonderful years and even when I separated I continued to spend Christmas Eve at her house. She was an extraordinary woman and apart from my affection I admire her.

Your grandfather was the businessman Pepín Fernández, the creator of Galerías Preciados. Has his story been told well?

FS: Things have not been told well. There is always talk of competition between Galerías and El Corte Inglés and I think that my grandfather’s character was more relevant than that competition, just as the real driving force behind El Corte Inglés was Isidoro Álvarez. As a grandson, if I were to tell his story, many would take away my credibility for lack of objectivity, but I assure you that my grandfather’s life deserves to be told well.