“I don’t see the news anywhere”

On October 29, while the Valencian Community was struggling under the scourge of a historic DANA, Carlos Mazónpresident of the Generalitat, decided that there was no better way to manage a climate emergency than eating quietly at the El Ventorro restaurant. Because, of course, when nature unleashes its fury, the only sensible thing to do is to discuss high political issues over a plate of creamy rice and a bottle of white wine, right? And now, with the serenity of a stoic philosopher, Mazón dares to say: “I don’t see the news anywhere“Maybe because I was too busy looking for the exact cooking point of the paella to look out the window.

The Transparency Masterclass

Mazón, who we can now consider a true magician of narrative, assures that the famous food has nothing extraordinary. “It was always a PP meal“, he has repeated ad nauseam, as if the phrase itself had the power to evaporate criticism. According to him, presenting the invoice to the Court of Auditors and Les Corts is an act of “transparency“Because it says nothing”transparency“like taking two months to explain who paid for the food while the public is entertained by imagining conspiracies among the desserts. It is almost poetic: opacity elevated to the rank of virtue.

Mazón has also declared that, if necessary, he will show the ticket to the Valencians. Although, to be fair, such a gesture seems unnecessary. What could they discover? That the PP ordered a black coffee? That Vilaplana opted for a light menu? In this exciting political-gastronomic drama, the real mystery is not who paid the bill, but how Mazón manages to say that “you don’t see the news anywhere” with a countenance that does not melt with pure irony.

A DANA as a backdrop

The scene, in case anyone hasn’t seen it yet, is worthy of a movie script. In one corner of the Valencian Community, streets turn into rivers, citizens flee in desperation and authorities struggle to coordinate emergency efforts. Meanwhile, in a quiet corner of El Ventorro, Carlos Mazón savors an entrecôte, oblivious to the chaos that surrounds him. According to him, he was perfectly informed throughout the afternoon. What’s more, he claims to have spoken with all the relevant officials: mayors, councilors, presidents of councils… Come on, the only thing he didn’t do was call the chef to ask him to lower the salt in the salad.

But, of course, in his inexhaustible generosity, Mazón also found time to reflect on the candidates for the direction of À Punt. Because there is no better time to think about regional radio and television than when torrential rains are devastating entire towns. And if anyone dares to question his priorities, he has an infallible answer: “It was always a meal as president“Who could argue with such logic?

The epic of the lost ticket

One of the great milestones of this story is the fate of the famous El Ventorro ticket. According to Mazón, the bill continues “its normal course” towards the Court of Accounts, as if it were a medieval manuscript that needs to be escorted by copyist monks across the Pyrenees. Meanwhile, the PSOE demands its immediate publication, because, of course, transparency should not depend on the times But Mazón, always one step ahead, launches a challenge: Why don’t we also ask for everyone else’s tickets? What was Pedro Sánchez eating in India? What menu did Minister Ribera choose in Brussels? universe of Mazón, transparency is an international competition of political diets.

What’s more, in a twist worthy of a thriller, Mazón suggests that other key actors in the management of DANA also have something to hide. What was the Government delegate doing during those crucial hours? Was he at Cecopi or in a pastry shop buying croissants? Imagination is the limit, and Mazón knows how to make the most of it.

The art of not being where you should

Mazón, who was not officially part of Cecopi (the emergency coordination center), vehemently defends his decision not to appear there until late in the afternoon. “He was informed, like any other community president“, he assures. And although it is true that other regional presidents also chose not to physically attend Cecopi, one cannot help but wonder: is coordinating an emergency from an office really comparable to doing so from a restaurant?

But Mazón is not alone in his crusade. The PP, as a disciplined party, has closed ranks around its leader. According to sources in Genoa, they have no record of whether the party paid for the meal, but, of course, they don’t seem very concerned about finding out either. Because, at the end of the day, what does a more or less ticket matter when you have a whole DANA to worry about?

A lesson for posterity

In the end, this episode leaves us with an invaluable lesson: when politics mixes with gastronomy, anything is possible. Mazón has shown that he is capable of transforming a simple meal into a media event of epic proportions. In a country where new crises arise every day, he has found a way to turn a lunch at El Ventorro into the topic of national conversation. It is a talent that is not taught in any school of politics, and therefore we must recognize its uniqueness.

And while we wait for El Ventorro’s ticket to finally reach the Court of Auditors, we can console ourselves with the certainty that Mazón will continue to delight us with his reflections. Maybe one day I’ll even offer a journalism course explaining how to spot relevant news. Although, of course, this story never was for him. Because, as he said: “I don’t see the news anywhere.” What news could there be in a president who eats quietly while his community sinks underwater? Without a doubt, it is a mystery that only Carlos Mazón could solve.