Emma Nogueira: “Meeting a person like Fernando Sánchez Dragó happens once in a lifetime”

It was the writer’s last love Fernando Sánchez Dragó and that still leaves a mark in the heart of the journalist Emma Nogueirowho returns to the present after publishing his book Dear Nano where he brings to light the letters that Sánchez Dragó and his mother sent each other for many years. The conversations between mother and son are so intense and descriptive that Emma could not help but convince the couple about her when she “discovered” this epistolary treasure in a corner of the house. Emma does not talk about her relationship with Dragó, whom she met in 2017 when she went to interview him and her romantic history began, nor about the 57 years that separated them. A year has passed since he saw his love die of a massive heart attack in Castilfrio’s house. (Soria) where they spent time and this book has been their best consolation when it comes to coping with the loss.

There are so many things to talk about that I don’t think one book is enough. But today we are concerned Dear Nano, a book that arises almost by chance. How was it and what did Fernando think about the letters with his mother coming to light?

IN: This book emerged in September 2020, when we were spending time at his house in Castilfrio (Soria) and he suggested that I organize his archive. Imagine what that means for a person like me who loves bygone eras and drinks the winds of the 50s and 60s to access that kind of nostalgic drawer. It seemed like a dream to me. It was when a half-mended and mysterious box appeared where I found a collection of letters, especially from Fernando and his mother, and after weeks of reading I understood that it was material of the highest literary quality and it had to be put in black on white and draw a history. It was a difficult process because the documentation was overwhelming, but I had a great time arranging and choosing the cards and getting inspired by this book where everything that is told is true. The magic is that people can learn about the amount of adventures, readings and trips that Fernando had.

And what did he say when he gave you the idea?

IN: The advice and mandate that Fernando always gave us to those who were close to us and had literary concerns was ‘write, write, write’. He was happy that the most unknown part of his life was known and the merit that his mother had in those years. It was such a special book and I enjoyed making it so much that he was delighted.

A year without Fernando and a ‘birth’ in the form of a book. What is life like today without him?

IN: Life without him already seemed like it was going to be a little hard because he filled everything up. He had such a capacity for fun, generosity and knowledge that he made the days with him a real party. But life is not filled, it is simply another different stage in which you have to gradually search for new concerns or intentions and within your possibilities do so in a joyful way because that is what he always taught me as the great optimist that he was.

Do you think the grief is already over?

IN: I suppose it is never completely overcome because not being able to see or touch that person I don’t think it will be possible, although it is true that with the publication of this book I have noticed it very close and it has made me not feel alone.

In Dear Nano We discover unpublished chapters of Sánchez Dragó’s biography, but it ends many decades before we meet her. Will there be a second book of his story with him?

IN: Don’t know. At the moment I am enjoying this first job to the fullest and as Fernando said ‘here and now’. You have to live in the present and Dear Nano it is. We’ll see what happens in the future.

What chapter has moved you the most in the life of your great love?

IN: It has been very exciting to review those years that I did not live but feel like mine because of what I like. There has not been a more exciting chapter than another because the intention was to reflect what Fernando and his mother were like, and also think that I started with him alive and I already knew what was going to be told. With his death I had nothing to rewrite, so it has been a mostly joyful process.

What was it that won you over about Fernando?

IN: What conquered everyone who knew him. His kindness, his optimism, the way he understood life, culture and the knowledge he had… what dazzled us all.

And despite how little you have lived with him, has it compensated you?

IN: It has been little but very intense and I assure you that it has been worth it. A person like Fernando happens once in a lifetime and it compensates me even if it had only been one day of my life with him.

The problem is that Sánchez Dragó has set the bar very high for him when it comes to falling in love again.

IN: Don’t know. At the moment I have an heir to Fernando in the form of this book but my private life will always be on the sidelines. I assure you that I have Fernando’s inheritance in my hands with this work.

What is your relationship with Fernando Ayanta Barili’s daughter?

IN: He interviewed me on his esRadio program and I thank him very much for the affection with which he treats me. I adore her. She is a wonderful woman and I feel very lucky for the things she has told me after reading it.

Were you worried about how his reaction would be? Has she felt free when writing?

IN: Of course. I have never felt like arguing or anything like that since it is a friendly book that vindicates Fernando’s literary figure and his profile as a writer.

Do you think that the image of Sánchez Dragó corresponds to the Fernando you knew?

IN: Obviously there are two Fernandos: the character and the person, that’s why anyone who stayed only in the character was wrong because the authentic one was the person. It is true that the media with a public profile does not always sweep in favor, but I insist that whoever wanted to get closer could really know him, which is why it is not good to confuse him with the character.

Have you ever wanted to change something about yourself?

IN: It was wonderful and didn’t have a single flaw to make me want to modify anything.

What part of his biography that relates and goes from the years 1956 to 1980 do you find most interesting?

IN: His time in Carabanchel prison was his “great adventure” but the exile he lived in Rome, the trips to the East, Africa… I have tried to recreate a life so eventful and full of adventures that everything has amused me. I loved that he told me about those decades and listened to him because I wanted to have first-hand testimony to better understand those experiences.

What do you miss most today?

IN: All. She was a very complete person.

Life at his side for a writer will have been very enriching. Was he acting like a teacher?

IN: Age and experience is a degree and think that he had 55 books published and I was getting my teeth into this first one. Fernando was always accompanied in life by Hemingway’s decalogue, which is to always remain in love, mix with life, write… there have been many pieces of advice throughout these seven years and I would be unable to reproduce them all now, but I can tell you that they were very successful.

He had a quick death that he didn’t even know about and I think that is something that we would all sign. Did they talk about what everything would be like when he was gone?

IN: Fernando was a devotee and student of death and had great knowledge. With him you could talk about everything and that included death since we are born to die.

Do you feel it close?

IN: A lot. All of us who loved him feel close to him and he has left us an indelible mark that will accompany us all our lives.

Did you call him Nano??

IN: Yes. He loved it. My cat is also called Nano.

The cat that he had on his shoulders when he died.

IN: Yeah.

If you had had more time by your side, what would you like to have done?

IN: With this book I have the feeling of having accomplished many things in his life. Obviously when someone leaves you always miss something but it has been such a complete relationship that I feel very lucky. I assure you that I am very grateful for what I was able to experience at his side.

Do you remember the first time you saw each other?

IN: Yes, of course, it was when I did an interview with him and there I was surprised to meet Fernando the person. He had all the qualities to want to know him more.

Has this book also been your particular therapy?

IN: It has been the best way to be accompanied during those months, but above all it is a tribute to one of the best writers in this country.

Does it turn you inside to talk about your life with Fernando and its end?

IN: I don’t like talking about his death and I think it’s the moment for the book and not for my relationship because that is part of my private life but I also understand that he is a public figure.

What did you feel when you had this book in your hands?

IN: I haven’t had children but it must be something similar because the fact of touching and feeling it is very exciting.